When I didn't say goodbye

Today was the last day of college and no one said goodbye.

The first half of the day flew past nervously preparing for the last exam I would give in this college. Even after the class photograph was taken, there were no protracted farewells, no tears – nothing. It was as though we couldn’t believe this would be the last time we would walk out of these gates as students. 

In the evening, as we sat on the rocks (actually tetrapods, to be precise), I realised how similar college was to the sea. Before you think last-day nostalgia has made me a little crazy, let me explain.

Looking back, before going ahead.

In the Mumbai I live in, you’re never really far from the sea. Around South Mumbai, a short walk, or a short cab-ride will usually take you close to the sea. The Arabian Sea is dependable that way, just like my college is. Need company? Head to college. Don’t have money to eat? Head to college for cheap food or credit from Anna. Especially for hostelites, college was like a second home. Even during a time when riots were raging right outside, college was an island of safety – the authorities actually locked the gates so that no student could go out!

The strange thing about the sea is that it never changes, yet everyday the sea has a different look. In the summers, we would sit in the blazing sunlight, staring at a calm sea. In the monsoon, we would wait till it stopped raining and sit on the rocks with the water spraying us. Just like our 142-year old college, whose look never changes. Yet each day in college was a new and exciting one. Someone would be shooting for a film (usually a BMM student), someone would be making marketing calls for their fest and someone would be sitting somewhere with a guitar everyday. Xavier’s spoilt us for choice when it came it to extra-curricular activities.

We never got bored of our two hangouts – Marine Drive and the BCR (that’s Boys Common Room, for Non-Xavierites) in college. We would do our group assignments inside the BCR, cribbing about how the romancing couple – there is always one daring couple in the BCR – had no sense of propriety and sometimes whistle at them to make them conscious (Ok, that was mostly me).  

As I found my way to the edge of the sea, I was helped along by my friends. One would hold out a hand, and three others would give instructions. That’s how college was for me. I was never the most daring person, but college and it’s people have made realise that the world is not such a difficult place, after all.

While coming back, I didn’t take anyone’s help. That’s what life after college is going to be like. There will be still be people to encourage you, but from a distance. You have to do all the rest alone. 

As for the goodbyes, we never really needed them. Goodbye signals an ending. But this? This is just the beginning.